I don’t make people earn my trust. I start with it. When I hire someone, I already believe they’re capable of more than the role defines. Feedback, when it comes, isn’t me pulling that belief back. It’s me trying to help them see the path to it.
But trust has to flow both ways. I trust your competence. I need you to trust my intent when I tell you something is wrong. If you hear an attack on your identity, you’re hearing something I didn’t say.
Feedback is care. “This isn’t working” is the sentence I want said to me, not managed around. I’m not fragile, and I’m betting you aren’t either. The insecurity I carry isn’t about whether I can do the job. It’s about whether I’m accessing the right mix of behaviors in the moment. That’s exactly the thing feedback calibrates.
When reciprocity breaks, the relationship can’t function. Trust that only flows one direction isn’t trust. It’s tolerance, and tolerance runs out.
For the longer version: Personal Charter.